Saturday, November 20, 2010
searching
I remember as child when my aunt came to visit us from the USA. She was already up in age but she took me at the side and spoke to me. You have to leave this land . You are to smart to be here. It was one of the few time someone spoke words of hope to my life. The school system told my parents I was not good enough to continue and education to learn a trade and be content. I was amused by the English language and even if my grades were no the top of the class i fervently desire to learn it and hope maybe one day i could go somewhere and improve it . Of course after the junior high I became a waitress and there new beginnings but JESUS was not even close to be my savior. I had life experienced were my life was in situation I do not even remember but His hand was on me. In time of distress he never left me. I was in search of him but I had no idea how I could even talk to such Great God. Many I found myself in churches while were empty and quietly sat myself in the pew and wait and wait till all was still and i was hearing his voice. Is was beautiful but I could not understand how I could came close to the God of Glory.I always left as i had accomplish the great est thing in my life . But all I had experienced was still inside of my young spirit , and I looked love and acceptance in the wrong places increasing heart aches. But he still was faithful to me
Never Alone 1
I was Born In Italy where i lived half of my life and this is how all begun.
I was a child of shy nature i remember be mocked a lot and ridiculed, and my way of coping with it was to laugh my way but inside i had so much sorrow. I grew up in a dis functional family where the word love was never mention not shown by human emotions. Mom and Dad were matched to marry and from there me and my sister were born. I remember little of my child hood but they was hard in a child eyes and I hope one day I would wake up and all was over and new . Occasionally as a family we did take field trips and that was the high moment of our childhood. But when it was over it was back to the same again. we never travel to a real trip together, that was something it did made me wonder why and as I grew I understood that our family has issues but it was never a family time we had lo live and ignore as we were in a play and when it was over the costumes were off and hanged up on the clothes line and we were back to reality. But for us all of it way realite it never change. Dreary days in darkness.
As young age I rememebr the experiece we had while my sister brought home a widja board from school and we were playing but it became real demonic forces were manifastion to us and speaking. I remeber my mother in ingorance took ut to places and we were doing meeting invoking them and they manfasted, all in the name of fun and entrateinment. At first was ok, but as the time went by i felt much demonic opression in my young spirit and i Did no know what to do and how to escape. My mom love horror movies that did not help, the house was opress and depressed. Few days i experienced real joy. I had a prayin g grand mother who left a mark in my life with her life story, and she always inspired me. As an Italian i grew up in a given religion but not in a relationship with the LORD JESUS CHRIST. I remember having God parents but i did nt undertand why, they try to mentor me, and that was the only positive thing about it. I receive a new testament bible and from there in spite my surrounding, I started to hide my self in it and eating of the word, I never had enough of it. It was given me peace in tormented nights. I did not undestand why than but now YES. JESUS himself visited me and was there he was speaking true his word giving me confort and hope .I told him i wan to serve him but i could not i was not called to be a noun. He smiled and told me CAME, and I trusted in Him, and since that day he keep HIS promise. HE NEVER LEFT ME ALONE
I was a child of shy nature i remember be mocked a lot and ridiculed, and my way of coping with it was to laugh my way but inside i had so much sorrow. I grew up in a dis functional family where the word love was never mention not shown by human emotions. Mom and Dad were matched to marry and from there me and my sister were born. I remember little of my child hood but they was hard in a child eyes and I hope one day I would wake up and all was over and new . Occasionally as a family we did take field trips and that was the high moment of our childhood. But when it was over it was back to the same again. we never travel to a real trip together, that was something it did made me wonder why and as I grew I understood that our family has issues but it was never a family time we had lo live and ignore as we were in a play and when it was over the costumes were off and hanged up on the clothes line and we were back to reality. But for us all of it way realite it never change. Dreary days in darkness.
As young age I rememebr the experiece we had while my sister brought home a widja board from school and we were playing but it became real demonic forces were manifastion to us and speaking. I remeber my mother in ingorance took ut to places and we were doing meeting invoking them and they manfasted, all in the name of fun and entrateinment. At first was ok, but as the time went by i felt much demonic opression in my young spirit and i Did no know what to do and how to escape. My mom love horror movies that did not help, the house was opress and depressed. Few days i experienced real joy. I had a prayin g grand mother who left a mark in my life with her life story, and she always inspired me. As an Italian i grew up in a given religion but not in a relationship with the LORD JESUS CHRIST. I remember having God parents but i did nt undertand why, they try to mentor me, and that was the only positive thing about it. I receive a new testament bible and from there in spite my surrounding, I started to hide my self in it and eating of the word, I never had enough of it. It was given me peace in tormented nights. I did not undestand why than but now YES. JESUS himself visited me and was there he was speaking true his word giving me confort and hope .I told him i wan to serve him but i could not i was not called to be a noun. He smiled and told me CAME, and I trusted in Him, and since that day he keep HIS promise. HE NEVER LEFT ME ALONE
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